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Joke of the Day

"Musing I've had: If a person has sex with sheep, do they need to wear a condomn?"

"My Granddad committed suicide. He drove off a cliff. Everyone was screaming and shouting at him telling him not to do it. Then again he was a bus driver."

"There are three unwritten rules of life. 1. 2. 3."

"How does Harry Potter do web design? Inspecto Elemento"

"Life is like a bunch of chocolates It doesn't last long when you're fat."

"Wouldn't it be great if twitter had a roped off VIP section where celebrities could keep their boring tweets to themselves?"

"Never using online dating again. Last guy said he lived in a gated community. Prison. He meant prison."

"What do you call a German jerk? Deutschebag"

"Why do people become bakers? Because they knead the dough. (Kneading hand motions required during recital.)"

"Really not sure why people tell me to ""be honest"" then get all upset when I tell them their eyebrows need a divorce. *shrugs*"