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Joke of the Day

"Paying for things with hugs Because it's legal tender."

"I wonder how many miles I've scrolled with my thumb."

"When is it acceptable to not tip your server? when your a system admin, and your server if tipped could destroy many websites."

"""Dad"" said Fred to his father who was a bank robber. ""I need $50 for the school trip tomorrow."" ""OK son"" said his dad ""I'll get you the cash when the bank closes."""

"I see dead people. No wait, I take that back. I see people I want dead."

"You don't realize how much you miss your privacy until you have a toddler hugging you the entire time you pee."

"I walked into a gas station & a woman handed me a free slice of pizza Either Iowa is the nicest state in America or I've just been poisoned"

"Why are locomotive drivers so good at driving locomotives? Because they were trained."

"So i've heard that christmas is cancelled this year... ... Joseph confessed everything."

"Twitter is all fun and games until you get that text asking what that tweet was about."