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Joke of the Day
"If it weren't for double standards, some people would have no standards at all."
Next Joke
"Two Congressmen are sitting in a bathtub. The first one says, ""Pass the soap."" The second one says, ""No SOPA, radio!"""
"I'll admit that my jokes are cheesy, but even then the ones I find hilarious my friends don't find funny at all They must be laughtose intolerant"
"They say one in every four men is gay, so there must be one in my group of friends. I hope it's Michael - he's super cute."
"They say you have safety in numbers... Sure, tell *that* to 6,000,000 Jews. [Source](http://youtu.be/Rzb_p1mRW1M?t=4m48s) I really recommend watching the entire video though, it's hilarious."
"I'm not afraid of killing cockroaches. It's the fear of his friends and family's plan to avenge his death while I sleep, that haunts me."
"Can someone just invent a mirror that takes pictures already!"
"Chuck norris is so fast that he can run around the world once and kick himself in the back of the head"
"So my new gardener asked me, for the fourth damn time, which plants needed care. I quickly spun, pointed angrily at the daisies and shouted... ""WATER THOOOOOSE!"""
"[me] if all dogs go to heaven, then what about Cujo? [the pope] how did you get into my bathroom?"