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Joke of the Day
"Guys, I know Michael Jordan very well... .. He just doesn't know me."
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"I'd like to open a Greek sandwich shop in Lower Manhattan. I'll call it Ground Gyro."
"When someone tells me they're a bodybuilder, I always ask ""Not the Dr. Frankenstein kind, right?"" because you can never be too careful."
"""I know you! You were one of the bad guys in Titanic!"" I yelled at the ocean, who ignored me like most celebrities."
"Have you ever been fooled by the MAF method? MAF = Make-up + Angle + Filter"
"There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did."
"Did you hear about the guy who lost his left leg and arm in a car crash? He's all right now."
"What is the perfect name for an Indian butler? Mahatma Coat"
"How do cows multiply? With cowculators!"
"[God making a planet for the first time and just constantly screwing things up] Ugh, first world problems."