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Joke of the Day

"How much does a Rabbi charge for circumcision? Nothing. He just keeps the tips."

"Yo mama so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller"

"When I see names carved into a tree I don't think it's cute, I just think its strange how many people take knives on a date."

"A tee-shirt idea For tourists in Virginia: ""Congratulations on losing your Virginia-ty"""

"I invented a new word It's called plagiarism."

"I was getting drunk with this cute girl and booze was going everywhere. Then suddenly I slipped in cider."

"What do you call a guy that hates Christmas and steals the woman you love? Ebenezer Scrooge-yagirl"

"In the time it took you to read this, Woody Allen made another film and it starred some big names and it was ok and now it's on DVD already"

"The sun is going to go out in 4 billion years, and you sit there and act like everything is fine."

"If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?"