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Joke of the Day
"There's nothing more annoying than someone trying to live by their values"
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"What's the worst thing about being Thai? Everyone automatically assumes you have a small dick, even though you're a female."
"What has 132 legs and 8 teeth? The front row of a garth brooks concert."
"As a child Moses auditioned for his school play but he didn't get the part. Ironic."
"What's the difference between Kim Kardashian and a colored wash? Whites occasionally get inside a colored wash."
"Judge gave man 60 yrs in Craigslist rape case & affirmed it's NOT ok to contact him with services or other commercial interests."
"[first date] ME: I'm from a broken home. HIM: When did your parents divorce? ME: No, they were hoarders, and the second floor collapsed."
"Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit making 'Airplane' refrences"
"I should've known it wasn't going to work out between my ex-wife and me. After all, I'm a Libra and she's a bitch."
"Stop burning bridges. They're not even good kindling. Just use sticks."