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Joke of the Day

"I should've known it wasn't going to work out between my ex-wife and me. After all, I'm a Libra and she's a bitch."

"What do you call a bunch of blondes standing ear to ear? A wind tunnel. :D"

"A duck walks into a bar, the bartender says, ""What'll it be?"" The duck doesn't say anything because its a duck."

"The number one cause of depression in people over 30 is hearing co-workers resentfully sing, ""Happy Birthday"" just to get cake."

"Four men are in a boat trying to smoke some cigarettes, but they don't have a lighter. One man throws a cigarette over board and now the whole boat is a cigarette lighter."

"OMG, you're huge! There's no way you'll fit inside me. - My clothes."

"What do you say when somebody else has ruined your joke? RIP post"

"""How can this idiot possibly be elected as president?"" Says a nation that hasn't gotten over the death of a gorilla in 6 months."

"A guy sees a woman walking her dog... Guy : Wow I didn't know you could walk a cow ! Woman : I'm sorry but this is a dog. Guy : Yes I know, I was talking to the dog."

"What happened to the tyrannical fruit? He was impeached!"