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Joke of the Day
"95% of the world is retarded I'm glad I am the 10%"
Next Joke
"I heard this amazing joke the other day, made me laugh so hard. Unfortunately I seem to have forgotten it."
"Took a career aptitude test. My results: sports team mascot, bridge troll, sign twirler, petting zoo shit shoveler"
"What's the difference between the Rolling Stones and Scotsman? The Rolling Stones say ""Hey, you, get off of my cloud."" A Scotsman says ""Hey, McCloud, get off of my ewe."""
"I was touched when my slutty ex-girlfriend said she got a tattoo for me, but it turned out to be a heart with the name ""Occupant."""
"How can you tell when a man pumping gas is a male porn star? Right before the gas stops pumping, he pulls out the nozzle and sprays it all over the car."
"I rang up a local builder and said, ""I want a skip outside my house."" He said, ""I'm not stopping you."" **Tim Vine**"
"That mini-heartattack you get when you sport a typo in your tweet."
"My girlfriend has 206 bones in her body. Now 207. Now 206. Now 207. Now 206. Now 207..."
"Help! I accidentally swallowed a mint! Never mind, I'm cool now."