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Joke of the Day

"I was touched when my slutty ex-girlfriend said she got a tattoo for me, but it turned out to be a heart with the name ""Occupant."""

"My signature move is not caring which one yours is."

"Why is Hitler never invited to the BBQ'S? Because he is always burning the Franks"

"Why do Belgians eat their french fries out of a funnel? They never want to lose a brown one once they've been burned"

"Science created airplanes and skyscrapers Faith brought them together"

"the waiter snuck up on me when i was eating my steak and now i'm all embarrassed 'cause i'm not sure how much to tip someone i just stabbed."

"""Knock knock."" ""Who's there?"" ""Doorbell repairman."""

"My ex-wife was deaf. She left me for a deaf friend of hers. To be honest, I should have seen the signs."

"My dad used to beat me every night HORSE, chess, Super Mario.."

"Politics are like a dick. They keep on getting rammed down my throat."