27577

Joke of the Day

"One word difference One word can change your day, your feelings, and life. Example: ""This is your captain speaking"" ""This isn't your captain speaking"""

"What should have tipped off the airline ticket sellers on 9/11? When the terrorists asked for anything cheaper than one-way."

"Santa is never lonely He has many deer friends"

"What do scientists say when they meet each other? Hydrogen Iodide"

"COP: careful, this guy's insane DETECTIVE: ok [he walks into the interrogation room] ME: i dont like the creme part of oreos D: jesus christ"

"""I've been trying to recapture my lost youth... I really need to get that cellar door fixed."" ^^^^^^. ^^^^^^^. Gary Delaney."

"Where did Napoleon keep his armies? Up his sleevies."

"What is E.T. short for? So he can fit on a spaceship."

"Which rock band has 4 people but doesn't make music? Mount Rushmore"

"I told my Mom that I was going to the Apple store and she said, ""You sound like you're 4 - it's the grocery store""."