27529
Joke of the Day
"I have used contact lenses my whole life... I can apply them with my eyes closed."
Next Joke
"#NoMore All of these NoMore commercials make me want to punch my wife"
"I asked my girlfriend if she'd like a day of eating ice cream and hanging with her girl friends. She said ""Yes!"". I said ""Good, because I'm breaking up with you."""
"Why did the console cross the road? To render the buildings on the other side."
"When a coworker says ""This is all Greek to me"", I always assume they want me to punch them right in their throatopolis."
"Did you hear about the guys who got lost at the music festival? They turned up"
"This one came to me this morning - How do you spot a necrophiliac at a funeral? Mourning wood."
"I refuse to stay at a Holiday Inn until they publicly specify what holiday they are referring to."
"Knock! Knock! Knock! Knock! Whos there? Control Freak. Con Okay, now you say, Control Freak who?"
"What's a prostitute's favourite type of bird? A cock-r-two"