27456

Joke of the Day

"Darth Vader says to Luke 'I know what you're getting for Christmas'. Luke: How could you know that? Darth: I have felt your presents"

"""I think I have split personalities"", ......Said Steve, being frank."

"I went to the library and asked if they had the book about men with tiny penises. She said ""I don't think it's in yet"" I said ""Yes, that's the one"""

"""Knok Knock "" -""Knok Knock."" =""Who's there ?"" -""Grandad"" =""Shit, stop the funeral"" credit: Gary Delaney"

"What do you call someone who keeps trying the same thing again and again, yet expects different results? A weapons designer for the First Order."

"If I'm guilty of anything it's that I care too much, that and murder"

"i have an iq of 152 so actually its not ""dumb"" that im trapped in this tiny slide for children"

"""We're halfway there... wow-ohh!! Livin' on a vain hope to which the Universe is indifferent!"" - Athiest Bon Jovi"

"My wife faked an orgasm, so I faked a mortgage payment"

"This week in Science: MRI technology and thought processing... are a hell of a lot cooler than last week"