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Joke of the Day

"""Knok Knock "" -""Knok Knock."" =""Who's there ?"" -""Grandad"" =""Shit, stop the funeral"" credit: Gary Delaney"

"What do u give a woman who has everything? Penacilin"

"Revenge is a dish best served with revengetables."

"I think I may be emotionally constipated...I haven't given a crap in days."

"Me *about to get hit by a bus* OH SHIT I'M NOT THE MAIN CHARACTER"

"What's difference between good weed and good pussy? You can smell the weed from across the room."

"I want to hold you till the end of time, or until I have to pee."

"If life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic."

"What goes VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM A blonde going through a flashing red light. No offense to blondes lol"

"How do you blindfold an Asian? With dental floss."