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Joke of the Day

"Mother: A carrot is just a vegan hotdog. *son looks at carrot* Mother: [desperate] Bugs Bunny eats them! Son: This is updoc. Mother: What's-"

"A fat man is in the kitchen preparing vegetables The guest asks ""Are you cutting?"" ""No, I'm not."" ""You should be."""

"Dating tip: don't mention your time as a Boy Scout, let your sash full of badges do the talkin."

"[Bad] Why was the gourmet upset when he saw the menu? The prices were gastronomical... (I'll show myself out...)"

"Here's a good one The 2016 political race."

"The worst is when someone ceases but they don't desist. That's some bullshit right there. Gotta do those simultaneously and whatnot."

"My kid sold your honor student a quarter ounce of oregano."

"I got sick from a fist bump it's the first confirmed case of ebrola"

"The most successful marriages and the very worst marriages end exactly the same way... ...with one partner watching the other one die."

"What do you call two healthcare professionals hanging out? A paramedics."