196523

Joke of the Day

"Why didn't the racist eat the middle of his sunny-side up egg? Because he only likes whites."

"Me: Gouda would pair nicely with this merlot! Priest: This is communion... M: Oh. Gouda would taste well with the blood of Chr- P: Leave."

"Put on sunglasses. Now run past a crowd of people with your index finger on your ear screaming ""SNIPER HAS BEEN SPOTTED SIR"""

"I was never great with girls but I have standards... I don't date ugly girls... I make them fucking ugly..."

"Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive."

"There are 10 types of people in the world Those who understand binary, those who do not understand binary and those who did not expect this joke to be in ternary."

"Why do Jewish women love to be prostitutes? You got it, you sell it, you still got it."

"*breaks glass* *pulls fire alarm* [outside] Great, now that you're all here, I want to correct this impression in the office that I'm weird."

"Why do you never see black people on cruises? They're not falling for that one again!!"

"What do you call it when a bear makes a complete rotation on both its longitudinal and lateral axes, causing it to follow a helical path? A bearl roll."