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Joke of the Day
"Me: OMG, I haven't seen you in so long! Her: We've never met. Me: That long huh?"
Next Joke
"This one time I was hit on by Anthony Kiedis. I only had two options, either give it away... or flea"
"A black man, a blue man, a green man, a pink man, a red man and yellow man walk into a bar... The bartender says, ""We don't serve your kind in here. Too much Risk."""
"Kmart always smells like if Walmart was found dead in its apartment after three days."
"Me: was I born with a mental disorder? Mom: did you iron a shirt while wearing it again Me: NO Mom: ? Me: I thought pants would be different"
"Whats a Drummers favorite Pokemon? Rattata"
"What do you call a kid with no arms and no legs? Names"
"BREAKING NEWS: Facebook is down. Worker productivity rises. U.S. climbs out of recession."
"WIFE: The police are at the front door ME: *hiding a bag of donuts* Do they look mad?"
"A daughter asked her mother how to spell penis? her mom said you should have asked me last night it was at the tip of my tongue."