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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms? Ones a Goodyear; the others a fucking amazing year."

"There's only one vampire on Sesame Street... At least, only one that counts."

"I once met an Asian with excellent grammar... So I said, ""Wow, your grammar is so good!"" And they replied, ""No.....my grandma's dead."""

"Did you hear Kony is raising up another army? It's a baby only army. The infant-ry."

"Currently the flower business is blooming."

"If I owned my own strip club, I'd probably name it 'The Museum' 'Cause, you know, no touching. If 'The Museum' worked out, I might open another one and call it ""Blue Balls."" Pretty self explanatory."

"How many tweekers does it take to change a light bulb? Depends on which method you try...."

"Vin Diesel is Latin for ""the guy we get when The Rock won't do it"""

"Every time I use a public bathroom, one thought occurs...""Seriously? This many people have Sharpies on them at all times?"""

"Insomnia sufferers, look on the bright side. only three more sleeps until christmas."