27197

Joke of the Day

"My headphones stopped working before the warranty... I'm taking them to cord over this!"

"My dad asked me where the phone was... I said it was calling lost and found"

"What's the last thing to go through a bug's mind as he hits your car windshield on the highway? His ass."

"I wonder if Martha Washington ever got splinters from George's teeth."

"What do you call a corn farmer who wakes up one morning to find that complex branching pathways have been cut into his field? amaized."

"What are the two greatest lies? ""The check is in the mail"" and ""I promise I won't cum in your mouth."""

"Today I got a job offer as a Mexican child kidnapper... ...Gracias, pero no pedo."

"Neil Armstrong said ""One small step for man..."". I would've just said ""OH, MY GOD, I'M ON THE MOON!!!!!!""."

"Now where do you get off >:( I'm the bus driver, I need to know"

"What are you watching tonight? The game where players make enough money to risk getting brain damage, or the debate where the players already have brain damage?"