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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a corn farmer who wakes up one morning to find that complex branching pathways have been cut into his field? amaized."

"why does a boxer have miscarriages.... ...because she punch backs whenever the baby kicks"

"How do you know you're in a redneck family? When your sister's pussy tastes like your dad's dick."

"My daughter just said that I'm the best dad she's ever had. So I got that going for me."

"What did the mexican fireman name his 2 children? Jose and Hose B"

"If a leaf and an emo fall from a tree, who hits the ground first? The leaf. The rope stopped the emo."

"How do Muslims close a door? Islams it."

"""I'm sorry, but are you suggesting what I think you're suggesting?"" -Fun way to confuse a waiter who just suggested a menu item"

"WIFE: can you preheat the oven? ME: you mean heat it WIFE: not this again ME: it can't be heated before it's heated. don't give me that look"

"Whats the difference between a lesbian and a wheat-thin? Ones a snack cracker, the other is a crack snacker."