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Joke of the Day

"Fox Mulder, age 6: *looks under pillow* MOM! IT DISAPPEARED! Mom: the Tooth Fairy took it, dear Fox: you mean... the tooth is out there?"

"Drinking Bud Light is like having sex on a canoe. Cause it's fucking close to water."

"How is a gay man like a tumbleweed? They blow and blow and blow until they end up stuck on a fence in Wyoming."

"Say what you want about Canada but they successfully got rid of Justin Bieber."

"I like my women how I like my cheese... ...blue, filled with holes, and wrapped in plastic in my fridge."

"I like my coffee like I like my woman. Cold and bitter."

"what do my ex and my toilet have in common? They both keep bringing up old shit"

"I can't take anymore of this 50 Shades of Grey promo. It's still your basic Cinderella story. Now she just has a ball gag."

"A guy in Saudi Arabia once masturbated, breaking the law of the land. His name? Sheik Dawood."

"Racism Q: How do you find a white person in the condiment aisle? A: UM EXCUSE YOU THAT'S RACIST!!!!----oh look, there they are!"