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Joke of the Day

"""No, Dad, Vampire Weekend is not like Shark Week..."""

"If I had $1 for every time I read a racist comment on the internet I'd still be broke. Because I am black and can't read."

"The first person to see a sunset was probably like well this ain't good."

"Hey girl are you the IRS, because you're all up in my business."

"I started gaining as much weight as possible... I wanted to become a more well-rounded person"

"""As someone who has shown an interest in vacuums,"" the email from Amazon said, unsubscribedly."

"5 SECONDS AGO! What do we want? TIME TRAVEL JOKES! When do we want them?"

"My boyfriend called me today in tears. He said he found a lump on his testicles. I explained to him that it was actually his cock"

"Why would I donate 2 to save a kid's life? I'd rather spend that 2 on a condom to prevent a kid's life."

"My best mate is called Tiba. Sometimes, I think he's a bit backwards."