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Joke of the Day

"""Vodka martini. Shaken not stirred."" ""So just the normal way you make a martini then?"" ""That's right."""

"How many sociologists does it take to change a light bulb? Only one, but the light bulb has to want to change."

"My best guy friend and I vowed if we're still single at 45, we def won't marry each other because who wants to marry someone no one likes?"

"TIFU by buying an MP5K instead of a Mini-Uzi from the Arms Store... Whoops, wrong sub."

"I just wish my ex-wife could look down from Heaven and see me now. But no, she's still alive."

"What's the difference between Donald Trump and Adolf Hitler? Well, one is a racist, megalomaniacal, rabble-rousing buffoon and the other one is Adolf Hitler."

"What has 2 legs and bleeds profusely? Half a cat"

"I would love to go to the bar tonight but, people."

"When Shall We Meet Again ? by Miles Apart"

"If ""God is in the details"" ... Then consider the little, sweaty red knots of skin on my ball sack to be godly."