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Joke of the Day

"How can you tell if you have a high sperm count? Your girl has to chew before she swallows."

"Wind chimes. Something I've never purchased. Can't see myself saying, its too quiet, you know what'd be nice? Noise."

"What's the difference between a chick pea and a garbanzo bean? I have never paid $100 to have a garbanzo bean on my face."

"As a Lesbian... I like my men like I like my coffee- nowhere near my vagina."

"A horse is getting brushed by his owner, The horse is like ""You my mane man""."

"How do you find Will Smith when he's lost in the snow? You look for the fresh prints."

"What do you call a whiny dog? A chi-WAAA-WAAA!!!!"

"Wouldn't it be weird if you met someone from twitter in real life and all they did is say random one-liners every few minutes?"

"Yo mama so poor [21st Century Update] she still has her daddy genitals"

"How much does a red lightsaber cost? An arm and a leg ^^edit: ^^slightly ^^improved ^^punchline"