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Joke of the Day
"What do comedians do when they get tired of doing standup comedy? Sitcoms"
Next Joke
"WHAT DO YOU THINK???? If a man opens the car door for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife"
"If I had a dollar for everytime I had an existential crisis it wouldnt matter because currency is a social construct and life is meaningless."
"When people do a bunny impression they go straight for the cute little front paws. Not me. I fearfully sprint into traffic."
"What do you call a Japanese Halloween Cake? Bookkake"
"People are like, ""How cute! Your dog looks just like you!"" I'm like, ""That's my son."""
"A dead battery walks into a bar,and asks for the price of a pint of beer. The barman responds, ""For you, sir, no charge."""
"My neighbors wifi isn't working. Do you think they are aware and are trying to fix it, or should I go let them know?"
"Why did the guitarist keep his condoms in his guitar case? He only needed them after he'd opened it."
"I sleep with a knife under my pillow. You never know when someone is going to break in and give you a cake."