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Joke of the Day

"My boss came up to me..... My boss came up to me and told me ""don't dress for the job you have but dress for the job you want"" so I dressed up as Batman, the bastard said I was fired"

"What idiot called it synthetic cannabis instead of Crock Pot?"

"Just watched The Hobbit: The Battle to Stay Awake for What Felt Like Five Hours."

"My 3yo just told me that he loves to make babies and I don't know what it means but I'm terrified."

"Great, I clicked on ""Start Your Free Trial"" and now I'm convicted of murder."

"When Dennis Thatcher had sex with Margaret Thatcher he called it pumping iron."

"Middle only pie A middle only pie could make someone a lot of money. But I donno if they could contain the business."

"What did the snowman order at MacDonalds ? Icerbergers with chilli sauce !"

"Talking bout planets with my 8 yr old. He asked if you just plow thru Uranus because it's all gas. I cannot respond maturely."

"Shit's Creek is actually quite lovely when you bring paddles."