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Joke of the Day

"If I had a dollar for everytime I had an existential crisis it wouldnt matter because currency is a social construct and life is meaningless."

"A man is at a drug store A man is at a drug store and asks the clerk for 50 condoms. The 2 girls behind him start laughing when he turns around he says ""Make that 52"""

"Who was the most racist president? Bill Clinton. He hid from the black guy in between the Bushes."

"What was Dodi Fayed's favorite state? In Diana"

"I'm not racist, I hate ALL black people."

"I like to pride myself on knowing whether it's Ice Ice Baby or Under Pressure by the first bum bum bum badda dum bum."

"New lesbian species of dinosaur discovered. Lickalottapus."

"[Heart: Tell her her eyes are windows into eternity, filled with fire... Brain: Beacons, stars in a vast darkness] Mouth: HEY GREAT EYEBALLS"

"My subscription brings all the newspapers to the yard."

"My cat passed. RIP Fluffy McMittens 2002-2003 2003-2005 2005-2007 2007-2008 2008-2011 2011-2013 2013-2014 2014-2015 2015-2016"