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Joke of the Day

"A dead battery walks into a bar,and asks for the price of a pint of beer. The barman responds, ""For you, sir, no charge."""

Next Joke
 
"You never get a second chance to make a first impression. Unless you work in the alzheimer's wing of a nursing home, then you get lots."
"I recommend all Apple users turn off the iCloud function on their devices... not only are you at risk of your nude photos leaking, but now you're at risk of getting the new U2 album too."
"Why is Reddit such a great place for freedom of speech? [deleted]"
"A five year old just made up this joke. Q: Why do astronauts eat so fast? A: Because they're on a rocket ship. Duh."
"*Opens fridge *Sees chocolate bar with a note ""please don't eat me"". *Eats chocolate bar Now who would want to eat a piece of paper?"
"What's worse than finding cum stains in your son's underwear? Finding cum stains in the back of the underwear."
"I don't think it's by accident that the ceilings in trailer homes aren't high enough to hang yourself from."
"Today, my son, Sam, told me that he wanted to become a woman. I've always wanted a Trans Sam."
"I was up all night wondering where the sun had gone And then it dawned on me"