2684

Joke of the Day

"Home Depot law decrees that if two dads are pushing carts down the same isle, the dad with the greater mustache has the right of way."

"A Tough Question, by Jon Stewart If con is the opposite of pro, then isn't Congress the opposite of progress?"

"When buying a new bed, don't be too quick to make a decision You've gotta sleep on it."

"""Um, can we get like three baguettes popping out of the top of that sack of groceries?"" - Most all film directors"

"Did you hear about the man who jumped into a river in France. He was in Seine.../He was never Seine again..."

"'I like the smell of your meat' may not have been the best greeting to the hot waiter at the BBQ joint I picked for lunch."

"Why do artists die early in life? Too many strokes."

"My favorite exercise is a mix between a lunge and a crunch. I call it Lunch"

"The funny thing about boobs is, if you've seen two... ...you want to see them all."

"I wrote a poem today! Half of it is true. The other half is just a bunch of lies to make it rhyme."