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Joke of the Day

"Me: You put the ""cow"" in ""coworker"" Her: Excuse me?? Me: It's a joke format. Her: I'm telling HR.. Me: Ok but I doubt they'll get it either."

"I think I'm going to sell my Theremin.. Haven't touched it in ages."

"How do I like my eggs? Unfertilized, thanks."

"Expert Archer Detected How do you know if someone's an expert archer? Put an apple on your head & stand still; he'll Tell you."

"My wife likes to quote Soundgarden during sex. ""Won't you come"""

"""You da bomb"" was one of the best things to hear someone tell me when I was younger. But the possibility of hearing it now has me scared to death here in ISIS."

"Girl's idea of Valentine's Day. (???(?.? )? Guy's idea of Valentine's Day ( o )( o?(^?^?)"

"someone just tweeted ""do crabs think fish are flying"" and i just know this is all i'll think about for the rest of the year"

"I went to the shop to buy eight legs of venison... But it was two deer."

"Don't bore a girl by saying she's beautiful, like every other shallow creep Grab her interest by saving her from a staged hostage situation"