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Joke of the Day

"someone just tweeted ""do crabs think fish are flying"" and i just know this is all i'll think about for the rest of the year"

"It doesn't matter if it's fight club or book club or some other kind of club, I guarantee I don't want to talk about it."

"An atheist, a crossfitter, and a vegan are all sitting at a bar... They try to have a nice evening, but are forced to leave since everyone is aggressively telling them that they are wrong."

"I just started a business operating charter flights Business is really taking off"

"My wife said she was watching he weight I told her to get some glasses. Edit: I need some too"

"How does a cow kiss? Smooooooch"

"deleted scenes are rarely worth the time but on Honey I Shrunk the Kids check out one where the dad thinks he's alone and starts jerking it"

"Q: Why did the man tear a page out of the calendar? A: He wanted to take a month off."

"To all you ladder manufacturers, I got something to tell you. Step it up!"

"What do gynecologists and pizza delivery guys have in common? They have to smell it but they can't taste it!"