26827

Joke of the Day

"I carry a bar of soap in my pocket so when someone tries to talk to me I can pull it out and say someone is paging me and leave."

"Are you a power tool? Because i'd really like you to screw my holes *Pickup line a woman should use*"

"What fetish does winners hate the most? The feet"

"Advent calendars are fun if you ignore that every day is a new, fresh hell waiting to be survived."

"I just sneezed while eating a salad and the button popped off my jeans Which proves my theory: nothing good can ever come from eating salad"

"People who generalize... I would finish the joke, but redditors are smart enough to see where it's going."

"Why isn't the Vice President running for President this year? Cuz he's Biden his time."

"I don't trust stairs... They always look like they're up to something."

"I asked the grammar police about a crime in the capital... They told me that case was sensitive."

"Why did the bear run around his bed? He wanted to catch up on his sleep."