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Joke of the Day

"What did one lawyer say to another lawyer? We are both lawyers."

"I'm an introverted republican... ...I guess you could call me an anti-socialist."

"How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two. Edit: lol it flaired accurately"

"classic germans Angela Merkel arrives at Passport Control at Paris airport. ""Nationality?"" asks the immigration officer. ""German,"" she replies. ""Occupation?"" ""No, just here for a few days."""

"Netflix just asked me ""Are you really going to eat that too?"""

"Everybody's talking about the super obnoxious drunk guy at the bar last night. I was at that same bar and I didn't even notice him. Weird."

"I want one of those jobs where people ask, ""Do you actually get paid for doing this?"""

"What does the average drummer get on an IQ test? Drool."

"I was glad to see the back of my ex-girlfriend! She always insisted on having sex doggy-style...."

"What's the difference between seal hunters and teenagers? There's none, both like clubbing."