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Joke of the Day
"'Noah' plot hole: THE FOOD CHAIN."
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"Star Wars newest Droid..... How does the newest round Star Wars droid relieve his sexual tension? He master-BB8's"
"""Omelet you finish,"" -Kanyegg West"
"I was going to pay the taxi driver with my leftovers from lunch but that wouldn't be fare to him"
"What do dyslexic zombies want to eat? Brians"
"It's nice that the french finally grew some balls... ...and shot down a German plane but unfortunately the war ended 70 years ago."
"ME: My new contacts are here! WIFE: Don't put them all on at once like you did last ME: [eyes wide] I CAN SEE YOUR BONES"
"Bruce Willis is working on the 5th Die Hard movie! They should call this one ""Just kill me already!!!"""
"I walked into the bar and asked for something cold and full of rum. The bartender yelled to the back, ""Dear, there's someone here to see you."""
"Im not trying to brag or anything, but I just got invited to play Candy Crush on FB"