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Joke of the Day

"Sometimes I like to hide my wife's inhaler. So the neighbours think I'm a stallion when they hear her panting "" Fucking give it to me!"""

"Q: What do you call a drunken Muslim? A: Mohammered."

"My wife is so sweet Every time she goes to a bar alone she gives me her wedding ring so I can think about her all night long."

"I would go to alcoholics anonymous But everyone already knows"

"Chemists Confirm the Existence of New Type of Bond Bond, James Bond."

"What do you get when you sit on a potato? A potato wedge! (I made this up when I was 9)"

"What does a snail riding on a turtles back say? WWWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE"

"I just got in touch with my inner self today http://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/2xs04j/today_i_got_in_touch_with_my_inner_self/"

"Needed one cotton ball. Two were left. Took both so one wouldn't feel lonely. I also have strong feelings about the last two pudding cups."

"My girlfriend said to me that she wanted me to tease her, so I said, ""All right, fatty."""