184479

Joke of the Day

"I went into a medical shop. ""Have you got anything for irritation?"" ""Yes,"" he said, ""But where exactly?"" I said, ""Fuck knows, you tell me. It's your shop."""

"I was going to try and convert my friend to nihilism. But I decided it would be pointless."

"How many Man U. fans does it take to change a lightbulb? One to change the lightbulb and one to drive down to Kent to pick him/her up."

"BOSS: Ok so far so good. But before we finish the interview I'm gonna have you take a typing test. LOBSTER: *looking down at claws* Shit"

"I wrote your name in the snow You should recognize it. It was your mom's handwriting."

"The most potent strain of marijuana has just been released to the public reports say consumption has reached an all-time high"

"You can fit fifty Mexicans in a van But I can fit six million Jews in my ashtray."

"Why does SnoopDogg carry an umbrella? Fo' Drizzle!"

"What is a stalkers favorite part of a hospital? the I see you."

"I had planned to post a tennis joke But after asking around I figured you guys wouldn't luv it."