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Joke of the Day

"As a child, 'The Jetsons' gave me unrealistic expectations for the future: like having a wife who loves me & owning a dog."

"What is the difference between Ironman and Iron woman? One is a super hero and the other is a command. *I'll show myself out...*"

"What do you call a deaf gynecologist? A lip reader."

"The pirate was pretty tired... He YARwned."

"I call my Missus's mimsy 'The Tardis' Not because it's bigger inside than I expected. It's just that she's had several dozen companions and at least one dog in there."

"Why did the Death Star hire a lot of football players from Thailand? Because they needed more Thai Interceptors!"

"HI? ""The test results came back positive. You have only able to speak in state abbreviations disease"" ME? ""yes"" OH ""sorry it's permanent"" OK"

"What's green and red, and goes round and round? A frog in a food blender."

"Today, I got lit, went to Denny's, ordered a t-bone & eggs, and scarfed it all down... I guess you could say... it was a ""high-steaks"" scenario."

"Met this chinese guy with the surname Shen. His name's Eric. As in Eric Shen. Have him for more than 4hours, call a doctor!"