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Joke of the Day
"Where do boxers punch each other the most? In the ring."
Next Joke
"Knock Knock..... who's there? Owls. Owls Who? Yes they do..."
"Blah blah blah employee handbook, just get to the point where you say if you're gonna drug test me or not"
"Whenever I see a bruise on a banana my first thought is pity, but then I think it probably deserved it because I slipped on a peel once."
"Asking a girl to the barbecue. Me: ""You going to the barbecue?"" Her: ""What barbecue?"" Me: ""The one where I stick my meat on your grill."""
"The first rule of dad club is shut the goddamn door on your way in, we're not trying to heat the whole outdoors here."
"I stopped trying to keep up with the Kardashians. I'm too out of shape."
"How does Tony Stark keep his clothes wrinkle-free? Iron, man."
"No matter how kind you are... No matter how kind you are, German kids are kinder."
"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself. Also, tornados and the dark and everything."