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Joke of the Day

"Whenever I see a bruise on a banana my first thought is pity, but then I think it probably deserved it because I slipped on a peel once."

"'Brexit' to be followed by Grexit. Departugal. Italeave. Fruckoff. Czechout. Oustria. Finish. Slovakout. Latervia. Byegium."

"Last night I had an Ant on me... Okay, I guess she was more of a Cougar."

"I'm forever disappointed that a group of squids isn't called a squad."

"What would To Kill a Mockingbird be called if Harper Lee was an alcoholic? Tequila Mockingbird."

"A Gnome Joke What do you call a gnome who's highly fashionable and likes to produce regular, metrical beats? A Metrognome"

"I remember one time my uncle asked me to spell ""schadenfreude"", and I couldn't. But he's dead now and I'm not, so I win."

"What is a Pokemon's favorite kind of nut? A Pi-cashew"

"Hey Babe Hey babe. Are you a piece of art? Because I'd love to nail you against a wall."

"What did the pickle say to the cucumber? Come on in the water's brine!"