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Joke of the Day

"A Jewish kid asks his father for sixty dollars. The father replies ""FIFTY DOLLARS??? What the heck to do you need forty dollars for??"""

"Women are like magnets... I have no clue how they work."

"ancestry dot com told me my ancestors were ""A Shit Ton of Sketchy Raccoons"". bullshit. i didnt pay 50 bucks for something i already knew"

"Why do Jewish men have to be Circumcised? Because Jewish women won't touch anything unless its 20% off."

"On cold mornings, it'd be helpful if a menacing man screamed obscenities at me in German so I'd get out of the shower."

"Coworkers: Zack, you should come to a hookah bar with us! Me: Why? Who's celebrating their 12th birthday?"

"This girl came up to me today, and claimed she knew me from her vegetable club. I'd never met herbivore."

"DATE IDEA: We stay in our respective homes and watch different shows on Netflix. And also that was a fake phone number I gave you."

"I was playing snooker with Jacqueline. I looked at her and said, ""Where's your cue?"" She said, ""It's after the C."""

"So Curtis Jackson filed for class 11 bankruptcy. Turns out he's only worth 50 Cent."