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Joke of the Day

"My 7yo has a friend over and I'm pretty sure he learned how to whisper during a hurricane."

"Why can't Mrs.Clause get pregnant? Santa only comes once a year, and it's always down a chimney."

"A man caught me applying chap stick, so I just started eating it so it wouldn't be weird."

"What did the bishop say to the priest? It's my turn."

"Every fight is a food fight when you're a cannibal."

"Did you hear about the russian prosititute Nickersonanoff"

"When there's a police car behind you with their lights flashing... It means speed up, right?"

"They're giving away Marshawn Lynch jerseys at my local sports shop. But I think I'll pass"

"What lives in apples and is an avid reader? A bookworm !"

"I just checked to see if I had any post, and on the floor in front of the letterbox is an envelope that says ""Do not bend""... How am I supposed to pick it up?"