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Joke of the Day

"What do you call A Tale of Two Mosquitoes? A bite-time story."

"A car was blown off an overpass during a recent storm. 255 People were arrested."

"Me: ""I can't find your phone."" Her: ""Call it."" Me: ""Here, phone!"" Her: ""I hate you."""

"My 3yo: Help I dropped a coin in the toilet come and get it out. Me (looks): I can't see anything in there. 3: That's because I flushed."

"DIE HARD JOKE What are they planning on calling the next die hard movie in which the main villain is a lesbian terrorist? DYKE HARD"

"Pregnant white women over 30 always buy the biggest SUV around, because you never know when you'll give birth to half of a baseball team."

"Went to Bingo yesterday, Got two fat ladies... Worst 3some ever."

"What's the difference between a freezer and a woman? A freezer doesn't fart when I pull my meat out."

"I have sex daily. Sorry, I meant dyslexia."

"Did you hear about that guy who put 19 toy horses up his butt? His condition is stable."