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Joke of the Day

"DIE HARD JOKE What are they planning on calling the next die hard movie in which the main villain is a lesbian terrorist? DYKE HARD"

"What did the hat say to the scarf? You hang around here while I go on ahead."

"I feel like all bears are Bad News Bears. I've never seen a bear and was like ""Oh, he looks like he has good news for us, lets stick around"""

"Almost arrived at work when my kid asked ""Where're we going?"" Who the hell did I just drop off at school?!"

"Permanently blinded people of Reddit, what is your favourite movie?"

"Today is the 1 year anniversary of the day i decided to get sober. And tomorrow is the anniversary of the day I decided sobriety wasn't for me."

"My wife told me she ""likes it rough."" So I replaced the toilet paper roll with a sandpaper roll. -how guys understand women"

"My ex just called me, sobbing on the phone to tell me she has AIDS and I should get checked. The hardest part is acting surprised."

"If emotional scars were visible, strip clubs would go out of business very quickly."

"What do you call a group of homosexual lions? gay pride"