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Joke of the Day

"A guy broke into my apartment last week.. He didn't take the TV, just the remote. Now he drives by and changes the channels.. Sick bastard.."

"Apparently typos only become visible to the human eye AFTER you hit send."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Cymbals ! Cymbals who? Cymbals have horns and others don't !"

"I used that classic Liam Neeson line from ""Taken"" today.. ""I will find you, and I will kill you."" My niece didn't want to play hide and seek anymore."

"What do you call a line of rabbits walking backwards? A receding hare-line."

"What does a dog like to wear when it's exercising? Pants."

"What do you call a french organized crime detective? J'accuza"

"Why did the lemon turn green? Because he had lime disease"

"I keep hearing ""Just be yourself"" from everyone. I didn't realize so many people want me to go to prison :("

"I saw a chameleon today. I guess it was a pretty crappy chameleon."