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Joke of the Day

"Knock Knock Who's there? Doorbell salesman!"

"What's the worst thing you could possibly hear after giving Willie Nelson a blow job? I'm not Willie Nelson."

"Overheard this guy say ""I can skin a deer in 20 min, but I still can't hula hoop."" Not sure why he thinks those skills would be transferable"

"What kind of bees make milk, not honey? Boo(bees)"

"What do you call a woman who pleasures herself with a vegetable? Mrs. Hawking"

"Waiting for the day when parents finally admit that their kid is in fact ugly instead of thinking they have the most beautiful kid ever."

"""Can you tie a knot?""... ""I cannot."" ""So you can knot?"" ""No, I cannot knot."" ""Not knot?"" ""Who's there?"" ""Fuck off!"""

"Doctor: You can only have clear liquids after midnight Me: Sure no problem Doctor: Not white wine Me:"

"how are we gonna sell our car this year? how about a commercial where the car is driving around on roads. great work everyone time for lunch"

"I just got hit head on by a crazy women riding a menstrual cycle."