26318

Joke of the Day

"The difference between the middle finger and the fourth finger I use my middle finger to say fuck you to you.. My wife uses my fourth finger to say fuck you to me"

"Dear MTV, I'm gonna start my own TV network called RealityTV (RTV) and play nothing but music videos."

"Growing up, I had a best friend. When we first met we didn't see eye to eye, but then he grew on me."

"Do you know why I pulled you over? ""Yes, because I was driving a motorized toilet."" I meant this time ""Oh. No."" Please step out of the oven."

"When I get startled, I scream in a really deep voice instead of my normal one. Cause if I'm going to be freaked out, you should be too."

"I went to get a physical and the doctor told me I need to stop masturbating... I said, ""why?"" He said, ""Because I am giving you a physical!"""

"A naked Jew with an erection running at full speed hits a wall He breaks his nose."

"What's Batman's favorite fruit? Bananananananananana"

"What religion do Saudi Arabian cows follow? Mooslim"

"Trying to give up cold turkey It's hard though when there is so much left over from Christmas."