26293

Joke of the Day

"I broke a lightbulb, smashed artwork, splattered milk from cereal bowls across kitchen walls and knocked over candles. Fly is dead."

"My pig stepped on a land mind under a tree... Now I have a porky pine."

"I just ordered a Life Alert bracelet... so if I ever get a life I'll be notified immediately."

"Did you hear that Lorena Bobbitt got killed in a car crash? ......yeah, some dick cut her off................."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Crispin ! Crispin who ? Crispin crunchy is how I like my apples !"

"What do you call the nicest guy in the hospital? The Ultra-sound guy..... Who covers him when he's not available? The hip replacement guy!"

"Toronto Police have found a head, hands, and a foot in a river. There are no theories yet but the hokey pokey has not been ruled out."

"How do you kill a thousand flies at once? slapping a nigerian kid in the face"

"My poor knowledge of Mexican food has always been my chilaquiles heel. You didn't even have to click through to get the punchline."

"Why couldn't the monk who flew a helicopter understand the monk who flew commercial jets? Because he was on a higher plane."