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Joke of the Day

"I don't envy mama birds for how they have to feed their babies, but the pushing them out of the nest part sounds fun."

Next Joke
 
"What is Newton's fifth law of motion? If you run around a tree at the speed of light you can literally fuck yourself."
"Two Indian junkies accidentally snorted curry powder instead of cocaine. Both are in hospital...one's in a korma.. The other's got a dodgy tikka!"
"Why do ghosts like going out? So they can drink boo-ze and get sheet-faced."
"I phoned the local gym... and I asked if they could teach me how to do the splits. He said, 'How flexible are you?' I said, 'I can't make Tuesdays or Thursdays.'"
"I was trying to find some spare RAM sticks in our stock room but I couldn't see any... Because it was SO-DIMM."
"Women sex toys cost money for Batteries! Men's sex toys cost money for rent, clothes, groceries....."
"Next month on the 13th, the date will be 13/13/13."
"I usually spend my Sundays texting apologies but I've had an alcohol free weekend now I have nothing to do."
"And for dinner... Mary had a little lamb."