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Joke of the Day

"I phoned the local gym... and I asked if they could teach me how to do the splits. He said, 'How flexible are you?' I said, 'I can't make Tuesdays or Thursdays.'"

Next Joke
 
"Why was Cloud trying to cheer up Sky? He looked a little blue"
"Already resenting that I have to wake up tomorrow."
"GIRL: l'm tired of bad boys and their bs. I want a good boy, for a change. ME [clearly a golden retriever]: *turns to camera and winks*"
"I like my bread the way I like my women... French and covered in butter."
"Knock Knock ""Who's there?"" ""Walter White."" Of course."
"""It's not you, it's me. And me. And me! And me. And me."" - schizophrenic break up"
"I went to a zoo yesterday that just had one dog in it. It was a shih tzu."
"Maybe Hitler became evil because he was mad that after so many years of lifting his hand nobody high fived him."
"Does anyone know the difference between an elk and a deer?nnCos I think I just ran over a cyclist."