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Joke of the Day

"Everyone around me is obsessed with finding true love. All I want is a girl who will laugh at my jokes."

"Watching soccer gives me the same feeling as watching a drunk guy try to get his key in the door."

"My bitchy girlfriend and I broke up, because she's moving to another state. I'll miss her a lot. I mean, my aim's good, but not *that* good."

"I told a psychiatric ward patient to stand in the middle of two black poles ... and he did it ! The absolute madman!"

"Why does a jew watch pornography backwards? He wants to see the prostitute give back money."

"The day I let a dog make decisions for me ....Is the day I go blind."

"Every morning, I jog around my block 15 times... Then I pick up the block, and put it back in the toy box."

"Why did the fisherman drill a hole in the ice? For the Halibut"

"A man walks into a bar And subsequently loses the hurdles race in the Olympics, bringing shame to himself and his country"

"Devil worshipper leader: ""Due to a typo we have summoned the wrong demon."" Stan: ""Hey there."""