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Joke of the Day

"My bitchy girlfriend and I broke up, because she's moving to another state. I'll miss her a lot. I mean, my aim's good, but not *that* good."

"I went to my friend's new flat on the weekend for a party. He should have gotten something more 3 dimensional."

"/r/Jokes/ wins Friend of the Planet award! for 95% recycled content."

"How do you eat a DNA spaghetti? With a replication fork (you can also use your zinc fingers...)"

"Top UN officials asked Vladimir Putin to stop annexing countries He responded: Oh go Crimea river"

"Two old woman were sitting on a park bench A naked man with a fully erect penis walked past. One of the ladies had a heart attack, the other had a stroke."

"My ex-girlfriend tried joining the slut club... But all their positions were filled."

"A hungry termite walks into a pub.. And yells, Is the bar tender here?!?'"

"I never realized just how much of parenting is surreptitiously throwing away artwork."

"What do you get when you cross a gay man and a Jew? A hit Broadway show. (heard Drew Carey make this joke in a Whose Line blooper reel)"